Snake Eyes
by Trowa no Miko
Summary: Evra's outlook on life. Basically The Saga of Evra Von.


Snake Eyes:

The Diary of Evra Von

The beginning years...

Why? Why do you look at me with those eyes? With such fear and hatred... Mommy, what did I do wrong? Why'd you leave me here with all these mean kids? I want to play, but they all run from me. Am I that scary? I can only see my hands and lower. Why do I look different from the other kids? What is wrong with me?!? Why'd you leave me here mommy? I don't like it here.

It's been four years since I was abandoned. I watch kids leave the orphanage and there are new kids arriving all the time.

I'm the only one that ever stays. Why would anybody want something like me? What am I? There's a man that comes sometimes. He's always staring at me. Stop staring! What do you want? Are you afraid? Everybody else is. I'm all alone.

Freak Show

What's a freak? The man that adopted me calls me that. He has people give him money to come and see me in a cage. They point and laugh at me. Some are still afraid. I'm too scared to cry. I just sit in a corner and try to wish myself away.

Am I a freak? I know I'm different from what I can see of myself. Does that mean I'm bad? Is that why the man that took me from the orphanage hits me? p He hides the marks. I don't think people would care if they saw them, but he hides them anyway. They're always laughing and pointing at me. A lot of the women and kids scream. I can do nothing but try to hide. I curl up in a ball and close my eyes.

Just disappear.

But it's a see-through cage so the people can see me easily. There's no way for me to really hide. He calls me 'snake-boy' a lot. Is that what I am? A snake-boy? What's a snake? I don't like it here. I wish I could go away forever.

Refuge

A new person came to watch me today. He stood kinda far away, and though we didn't talk I felt like he knew what I was thinking. I don't feel afraid of this tall man. I won't try to hide from him...

Then the man that hits me comes. I think he wanted to give me to the other man for something else. A big wad of paper the color of my skin was in the tall man's hands. I don't really understand what went one. The new man turned to me, nodded and then killed the other man. Is he going to kill me next?

I stayed real still in a corner of the cadge. Then, he walked to my cage, opened the door and said, "Let's go, Evra."

How'd he know my name? It doesn't matter. I trust this tall man. I know he won't hurt me.

I don't feel bad for the man that hit me. I'm glad he's gone.

I was afraid when I first left. The man that saved me-- he said his name is Hibernius Tall—said that I can stay and live with the "Cirque du Freak."

There's that word again.

Freak...

It doesn't sound as bad when Mr. Tall says it. He says that if I stay then I have to work. I'm okay with working. Just don't hit me. Please don't hit me. I'll do anything as long as you don't hit me.

There's a very pretty lady that can grow a beard and then take it away. Her name is Truska and she speaks a funny language. I can sort of understand it.

When she first came to me she took me to her trailer. There, she helped wash me, took care of my wounds, cut my hair and gave me new clothes. She pushed me over to a mirror, but didn't want to see me. I looked down at the thin yellow hair on the floor. She hugged me and tilted my head up to where I had to see myself...

That's what I look like? I couldn't do anything but stare. I touched the image of myself. I have semi-long yellow hair; a green, gold, yellow, and blue body covered in flecks called scales; my eyes are kinda narrow and my nose doesn't have any hairs in it.

I started to cry and turned away from my reflection. Truska held me as I cried and sang a song in her funny language. She held me until I stopped and then smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back.

I feel warm when I'm with her. She's the first person to ever show that she cares. We have a special bond because of that.

My first day at the camp was the first time I've ever smiled. Even when Mr. Tall took me from the bad man I didn't smile. It feels good. Maybe there are more things that will make me smile.

So that's what a snake is...

Mr. Tall gave her to me. She's long and thin. Her body is covered with yellow and green scales and she has a really long tongue. She kinda looks like me. That's why they called me a snake-boy...

I think I can talk to her. She shows ways of answering me and I know when she's trying to tell me something. I love her dearly. And I don't feel so lonely with her now. At night she curls around my whole body and we sleep together.

Sometimes, though, she crawls in her sleep and wakes me up. Then I have to catch her so she doesn't accidently bite somebody outside.

Mr. Tall spoke to me about working as part of the show today. From when I first came to now all I had to do was get food for these little people with blue robes and take care of my snake. He's never asked me to perform before.

I figured he would ask me to some day. I don't think I can go out in front of people like that. It gives me shivers just thinking about it. What if they don't like me? What if they laugh or are afraid?

I don't want them to think of me as an animal or a monster. I can't do it. I just can't. It's different when I'm working out of sight. The people in the camp understand that I'm not a monster. They're not afraid of me. They treat me like I'm normal.

How will the people watching the show treat me? I keep thinking of that other circus with the bad man. Will people scream or laugh at me like they did there?

No. I can't perform. I'm not ready.


End file.
